This week saw Mr and Mrs Weir (Above) win the biggest Euro lottery jackpot in history: £161 million pounds. This places them at number 140 (i think) of Britian’s Rich List and they are officially richer than David and Victoria Beckham. O_O.

Now I’m happy for them and all that, but i’m wondering…WHY ON EARTH DID THEY GO PUBLIC? 

Is it a dream of theirs to be vulnerable to kidnappings and burglaries? This may sound selfish but let me win that amount of money on the lottery, I would never tell a living soul, with the exception of my parents. Can you imagine?! Once word got around that you’d hit it big, all of those old friends and family you don’t like never kept in touch with would start springing out of the woodworks like flying ants in summer talking about;

“Hey! We haven’t spoken in ages! How are you? so umm (insert meaningless generic conversation here)…..man my financial situation is messed up…yeah I can’t afford to pay for my daughter’s nursery and my Gas bill is through the roof, which wouldn’t be a problem except my chlamydia’s flaring up again so I have to take time off work to treat that and I really can’t afford to take time off..if you could loan me a couple hundred i’d really…”

Stop right there. 

I’m not heartless at ALL but when it’s an absurd amount of money, you’d have to be a bit wary over people’s intentions! So I ask…

This is what I would do:

1)

2) 

3) Pay of my mum’s mortgage and all her bills.

4)Put some money in a trust fund for my younger brother and sister

5) Give some to my mum, dad and close family.

6) Pay off my tuition loans

7) Give a substantial amount to various charities I support

8) FINALLY pay for driving lessons, buy a car and an apartment in Knightsbridge (because i’m snooty like that. totes rah!)

9) American road trip! 

10) Put the rest in an account to build interest / re-develop houses

*sighs and looks out of the window in a morose fashion*

One day aye???