I’m not going to lie; It’s been a bit of a mission, trying to get this post up. Not specifically because I’m not the biggest fan of the photos I’ve taken for this or like how I look, or the lack of lighting, or my rubbish box room, but more because for the past couple of months, I’ve not been in the most confident of spaces when it comes to my body.
There’s no specific reason for this; my shape hasn’t changed at all, however how you feel mentally can definitely have an impact on how you feel about your body. When you’re not feeling 100% confident and secure in yourself, it can lead to nitpicking and obsessing over the parts you’ve grown to love over the years. Over the past couple of months, I’ve found myself picking at, and hating specific areas, and thinking to myself that things would be a lot easier if I were smaller. I think things like ‘I wonder if people would find me more attractive if I were smaller?’, ‘will people want to date me?’ – all things that really don’t matter – but it’s been one of the more prominent thoughts in my head.
It’s taken me 15 years to get to the point where I can confidently say I love myself and all its flaws, but every now and again, it’s okay to trip up on that journey. A lot of people presume that just because someone proclaims that they are body positive, that it is the be-all-and-end-all, and that we are never allowed to find issues with our bodies again. That’s not true friends!
The journey to self love is just that; a journey. With all journeys, it can take a long time to get there; we can trip up, go the wrong way or even fall stagnant for a while, while trying to figure out just where the fuck we are going – but ultimately – our compass will kick back into gear and we’ll get to our destination eventually! #Analogies
So yeah, at the moment I’m a bit stagnant and what I tend to do in these situations is remember how far I’ve come, and focus on areas I like about my body. I said before in an earlier post that a way in which I make myself feel better is to just walk around the house wearing pretty underwear, and again this is where Parfait Lingerie comes in handy. Here I’m wearing the Sandrine plunge longline bra and underwear set which I absolutely love, as long-line bras are the wave. There’s something so feminine, kitsch and delicate about the shape of the bra and it just puts me in that frame of mind: innocent and almost ethereal (these are lies i’m nothing of the sort tbh).
I try and do these a couple of times a week just to build up that confidence again and to rediscover what areas of my body I’ve grown to like. I’m quite a fan of my lower half/legs area and that’s a start. One thing to take away from this is that the mirror is not our enemy, our destructive thoughts are, and sometimes, it’s okay to feel a certain way. Just know that it will pass!
Yes, I love this post, Stephanie! Honestly, there needs to be a lot of more posts about moments of self-doubt and insecurity in the body positive moment. It’s a common fallacy that just because your love body most of the time, that means you can’t dislike your body sometimes. And as for the photos, they might not meet your usual fantastic standards, but they are not that bad.